Outside In

Once upon a time, there lived a man, who was the epitome of all the good values that earthlings could imagine. He had spent years learning the wisdom accumulated over ages. He was generous, benevolent and diligent. He spoke right, behaved well and was loved by all. Yet, he was not happy. Something ailed him, and he couldn't figure out what. He felt like an old painting in a golden frame, kept at a safe distance from the visitors in a decorated museum. They could see him from distance and praise him, but they couldn't cross the line to touch him or feel him, and how he wished they did that. Something deterred them. Years passed and his prominence grew, but so did his agony. And one day, it became so intolerable that he fled. He ran for miles, crossed states, but the frame followed him wherever he went.  
  
Tired, both physically and mentally, he felt like he had reached his nadir. He couldn't summon the courage to walk any further or to take up a new challenge. Lost, he sat on the bank of a river, away from the hustle of the town. As he was engrossed in his own nothingness, an old man, poor and wearing tattered clothes approached him and asked if he could give him something to eat. And even though he had a limited food supply left for himself, he spared some of it, cause his values didn't allow him to do otherwise. "You're a generous person, god bless you," said the old man. And he simply couldn't take it anymore. "There's no use of this generosity. I've just reduced the hopes of my survival by sparing you that meal. I don't know if anyone will spare their food for me when I'm hungry. I hate myself for this, but I'm compulsively doing it. I've no other option," he lashed out. The old man was taken aback by the outburst. Then he shaked his head, smiled and held the hand of the young man and asked him, "Do you know, what your problem is? I'll show you." 

And he took the young man near the river. "Look in the water and tell me what you see." Puzzled, the young man looked in the water. "Fish, stones, plants..." he muttered. "Don't you see the most magnificent thing? It is you," said the old man. "And your perception of the river shows that you care the least about the most important thing. The reason why you look so ruffled is that you've no respect for the values that you hold so dear. People love you, but you don't accept their love. You're constantly chasing their approval, but are least bothered about the approval of your own mind. Look inside and love yourself first," he said, and walked away. And in that moment, the young man felt as if someone took a huge load off his mind. The curse turned into blessing, and he lived happily ever after. 

So many times in our life when we feel like we're dragging ourselves, it is because we are not accepting ourselves. We are scared to admit that we're wrong somewhere, or that someone else is doing better than us or something is not meant for us or sometimes the opposite, that we are actually doing very good, better than the expectations of other people. The reason why we are still able to survive, despite lying to ourselves so many times, is because the capacity of our mind to forgive us is vast. But it isn't infinite. A nurtured and loved mind is able to love everyone and more importantly accept the love from everyone. Whereas, the deficient mind finds it difficult to accept that love is everywhere and when it reaches its nadir, it starts hating itself.

Many will say that loving yourself completely could be like stunting your own progress. Yes, if you blindly love yourself and object everyone questioning your behaviour, there is a risk that you might not reach your full potential. But that is not what loving yourself means. It is actually about accepting that you're a person with some strengths and some weaknesses. It is juggling with the bullets of criticism without letting them penetrate you. It is working to make yourself better without exerting you. It is spending some time alone, listening to your inner voice. Surprisingly, loving yourself is the most selfless thing that you can ever do because it will not just enrich your life, but also the life of those, who come in contact with you. Be selfless.